here comes the sun
August 19, 2001, Sunday - 01:17
i think the background is beautiful.
(that's totally egocentric, but so what?)
i would love to be beautiful. thin, gaunt, with haunting eyes. elegant, dark. and maybe i am. sometimes when i look in the mirror i think i am, and i can't stop staring. at myself. freak.
but sometimes i am not. sometimes i feel so ugly. not like how people say, 'an honest ugly face'
but just plain unattractive. disgusting.
sometimes i think i'm slim. that i look fine. but other times i don't. i need to lose weight.
who reads this stuff, anyway?