18

June 24, 2010 thursday - 00:30

here i am again. in this place.
i hate it.
i hate myself for stopping you from kissing me, that night in the kitchen.
i hate myself for falling asleep in your arms.
i hate myself for replying your texts.
i hate myself for wanting you.

i hate myself for getting into this position again. for having to remind myself that lust is not the same as love.

i barely know her but i don't want to hurt her.
i'm nothing. nobody. a ghost in the night. in time, i will be a memory. part of a weekend that was more fun than we thought it would have been. but nothing more.

and you and her will fade away, into the red sandstorm of the past. another forgotten dream. another could have been. another broken heart. life goes on. i will keep working. days. nights. so much work that i don't have time for anything else at all.

help me to forget, please.

don't tempt me.
i don't want to tempt you.

just let me go.

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