April 14, 2003 monday - 22:18
guess what [name removed] got? yale stanford columbia penn berkeley northwestern.
we arent even talking about an out-of-state applicant here,... this is a guy from singapore (not a part of china).
six us unis, they said, were the most we should apply for. only three of which should be ivies.
of all the people from school i know, i am the only one not worried about scholarships, rejections, applications, ....
there is only one place i want, and only one course. and i'm not worried, yet.
i want a camera. believe or not, there aren't any at home.
i want to take pictures. of empty plates and unpeopled restaurants, of loss and unfulfilled dreams. of meaningless meaningful things, skies heavy with waiting and bodies etched against the wind and the light. of mess and manner, of life and living.
i want to take pictures of sound and of movement and of feeling and of remembering. i want to capture things uncapturable. so i can record for forever things unforgettable. i want to make solid, beauty that is inherently ephemeral.
i want to take pictures of things, many things, many many things, and put them on a page, where everyone can see them, and see what i am, and see who i am, and i want to flood my world with pictures and anyone who wants to know me can do it through my pictures. i want to cover up everything with pictures, insightful and tender and wistful and dark and bright, so many pictures, like a deck of cards thrown in the air, so many pictures that in the end they obscure the person that i really am.