time to get drunk
January 09, 2003 thursday - 23:35
hello hello i see you and you smile but do you know who you are smiling for? for you best friend who has his arm around your shoulder in that platonic way? for the people around you who respect and love you? for the memories you will have of this happy times?
who are you smiling for? are you just smiling cos, well, it's a photo and what else do you do in photos but smile? and anyway you smile all the time cos you are so nice, i mean, your email has a "smile" in it somewhere. you're smiling for the camera. but do you know who is looking through the lens? the person beyond the camera?
obviously that person is not in the photo. that person is not really a friend. sure you know that person, well enough to at least ask this small favour, but not well enough take photos together.
i was not the one who took those photos but still i am the person beyond the camera. i look at the pictures and i look at you, and you smile at me, from so many months before. your smile, for me, captured for ever in true colour RGB, whatever that means.
and dammit, why am i talking so much, i don't know, and why do i keep talking about things i don't know? might as well just keep my mouth shut right? nobody bothers about it all anyway except me.
oh just go away. me. i should go away from myself. i don't want this life any more. whatever, man. whatever.