i don't want to feel so angry and frustrated i lash out at everyone and everything. i don't want to feel so sad my chest hurts physically. i don't want to feel hope that will disappoint me. i don't want to feel happiness cos it makes the darkness that waits behind that much darker. i don't want to feel helpless because i can't do anything, i can't help anyone, i can't help even myself. i don't want to feel love because love is nothing but pain, for me, for the people who love me, for the people i love.
i don't want to feel anymore. i don't know where to go from here. i don't know what i can do. i don't know how to make anyone happy. i don't know. i don't know.
Lord, take this away from me. i cannot bear it any more. Lord, make it stop. make it end.
