pursuant to section 156 of the companies act (cap. 50)
January 29, 2003 wednesday - 22:10
i had a nightmare last night. it wasn't a wake-up-screaming-drenched-in-sweat sort of thing people like.. duo or heero. seem to get alot of. but it was scary. somehow i always know that it is a dream and that i can wake up if i need to, which i do, so it isn't all that bad.
over the last few years i've had several recurring nightmares, but this one wasn't one of them. the theme was similar though. i was accused of doing something criminal (it has been murder, theft or something extremely important, drugs, etc before) and was being chased. (sometimes i am innocent, sometimes i am not.) and the whole dream is about my being chased. sometimes i'm hiding out in shopping centres, or crowds, or something similar. last night i managed to get some sort of potion that let me fly, so i was hiding at the tops of buildings and stuff like some spider-woman person. and always the dream ends when i give up and allow the fella in pursuit to get me. i feel an incredible sense of tiredness, of hopelessness, and i *know* that it would be better to give up than to be everlastingly (hedda gabler to brack..) worried about running away. and then as i give up and step out into the open, i feel.. surrender. and that sick sinking feeling in my heart.
then i wake up.
the twist this time was the flying thing. i always thought (and dreamt) that flying was associated with freedom. like i once dreamt that i was skiing and everything was beautiful and i was going so fast that i just.. lifted off. :P last night there was nothing of the sort. instead of flying away, i was just hovering within the city, hiding, trapped. (something like that nightime scene from ghost in the shell that shows kusanagi's silhouette looking down over the tiny city. or was it akira?) and all i could think of was falling.
this sounds like some sort of analysis thing. :) i wonder what it means.