December 19, 2001 Wednesday - 09:08
This is a fantastic trigger: go to some model agency site, or even the home page of a fashion house (i think alexander mcqueen is a genius) and look at the models. Ford is a good start, the statistics of each model are put up along with a couple of her photos. This is real beauty. Take a look at the photos. Then take a look at the dress sizes, vital stats, height. This is how we have to be to look beautiful.
i hate myself.
Twiggy (1966) was 5 ft. 6 in. She weighed 97 pounds.
i'm so pissed off. stupid SATs. i barely passed 1400. yes yes i know it's good and i know i sound like i'm bragging. but good isn't good enough when everyone's FANTASTIC. according to some ass teacher the math score average for my shitty school is.. i can't remember.. but it's WAY higher than what i got. probably 800 or something. damn those china scholars.
i don't wanna take it again. it's such a waste of time. it's not like i'm going to study, anyhow. i bet most of the mistakes were careless cos the questions as so frickin easy. damn damn damn.
damn shit i am way too embarrassed to tell my friends my score cos it's so freaking low. you're probably going to get, like 1500+ or something. grr. not only you. like, maybe the whole freaking country is going to get 1500.
whywhywhywhy is the education system so screwed up. a frickin good score means nothing now. waste of time.
it's like anorexia, yes? people say you're skinny but you KNOW you're fat and there are lots more people who are skinnier than you. so, in comparison, you're actually fat.
damn damn damn.
i'm so pissed off.