I hurt myself today to see if I still feel I focus on the pain the only thing that's real the needle tears a hole the old familiar sting try to kill it all away but I remember everything what have I become? my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end you could have it all my empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I wear this crown of shit upon my liar's chair full of broken thoughts I cannot repair beneath the stain of time the feeling disappears you are someone else I am still right here what have I become? my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end you could have it all my empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt if I could start again a million miles away I would keep myself I would find a way
- nine inch nails, 'hurt'
i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo
what the hell am i doing here?
i don't belong here.
i don't care if it hurts
i want to have control
i want a perfect body
i want a perfect soul
i want you to notice
when i'm not around
you're so fuckin' special
i wish i was special
but i'm a creep...
- radiohead, 'creep'
i feel terrible. i shouldn't have lost my temper just now. then we wouldn't have fought. then i wouldn't have felt depressed. (or would i have anyway?) then i wouldn't have cried. then i wouldn't have felt like i deserved to eat. then i wouldn't have eaten so freaking much! i wasn't supposed to eat anything today, guess i'll just have to make up for it tomorrow.
