i want to be so thin people stare that they point and whisper and shake their heads in disgust but inside ache with envy
i want to have control so tight it controls me too an aesthete free of this mess of life beautiful beyond words.
i want to be far away like the moon bleeding silver in the night cold and distant dancing to a music only i hear.
i want to hurt so much nobody sees it i want nobody and everybody to care i want to fly away into the wind consumed like the fire like the phoenix
'turn away my princess i am what you fear the chill that walks within you the pain that you keep near you cannot run you can't escape me you might as well not try you see me and then you panic but my princess why do you cry? i am in you all throughout you the hurt you keep inside like.. streaks of fat marbled through meat or the wobble in your thigh my princess come again to me you know you can't resist you know you can't help but succumb to the whispers that persist - '
shut up the voice within me shut up i don't need you
i don't want to do things by halves
stuck in the middle of nowhere i don't want to be fake i just want to disappear
fade away to nothingness wasting away with the year pain is nothing i cannot bear
