September 07, 2016 - 01:25
how can i expect you to see through the lies i tell myself when i can't see through them myself?
don't ask me what i want, i don't know. don't ask me what i feel.
i think and think and the conclusion is always - it is meaningless.
i hate you. i need you. i hate it that i need you. i hate myself for wanting to need you.
God, where are you? what is Your purpose in all this?
Loving You is not easy. it is not about the highs, the positive moments, the joys.. show me please, how do i love You in the times when i hate myself?
why have You made me broken?
I want to get out of this cycle, of anger, of hurt, of hurting, of pushing people away, of needing them.
Lord, You said: Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.