here comes the sun

August 19, 2001, Sunday - 01:17

i think the background is beautiful.

am i?

(that's totally egocentric, but so what?)

i would love to be beautiful. thin, gaunt, with haunting eyes. elegant, dark. and maybe i am. sometimes when i look in the mirror i think i am, and i can't stop staring. at myself. freak.

but sometimes i am not. sometimes i feel so ugly. not like how people say, 'an honest ugly face'

but just plain unattractive. disgusting.

sometimes i think i'm slim. that i look fine. but other times i don't. i need to lose weight.


who reads this stuff, anyway?

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