on the verge

April 05, 2004 saturday - 21:26

there are many ways to talk about stress.

i could be harried, frenzied, spouting swear words; i could rail at the world and all who oppress me. i could curse and cry and hate and spew blood and anger and frustration. i could be rude and irritating and piss off all my friends and myself in the process.

or i could be deadly calm, viciously silent; i could contain the anger and turn it against myself, i could turn lethally quiet. and then go and kill myself.

or i could be desperate, i could plead and whine and quake. i could turn pale at the clock that rushes towards the deadline i must not fail to meet, i could shake in terror at the emptiness of my argument, i could cry for help and bemoan the lack thereof. i could hyperventilate and panic.

i could be resigned, i could work tirelessly until my fingers drop off and my brain withers or self-combusts, i could take on a perpetually suffering expression and refuse to do something like scream or shout to relieve the pressure. i could just take it all at once until something slips and then.. well, who knows what then?

or i could just
give up.

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