July 05, 2010 monday - 00:45
3 days of nonstop drinking and partying.
3 billable hours per working day.
my life is a mess and i can't control anything.
fall into the booze. fall into the drugs. fall into oblivion, fall down, and don't get up again.
i just want to get these couple of months over and done with. i don't want to have to keep trying to feel dead. i don't want to keep killing myself. i just want to get my life back on track again. i want to lose weight. i want to feel attractive again. i want to feel inspired again. i want to love, to be loved, to laugh, to discover, to come alive again.
give me something to look forward to. turn this trainwreck around. and please just get me through this.