"raw shok test"

December 03, 2002 Wednesday - 11:53

i screwed up my last paper. i'm going to get an Ungraded.

i totally screwed up.

i couldn't sleep last night cos i was worrying about it so much.

i did a question i shouldn't have done. sometimes you can crap out (pretty good) essays even though you haven't really studied the topic. especially for human geog. but this was a physical geog question. and you need to know certain things.

which i didn't. because it wasn't in the A level syllabus.

yet i chose that question.

WHY!??!!!! why was i so stupid??

this is IT. it's not like SATs or what, if you don't do well, just take it again. this is really the end. if i don't do well, i am screwed.

and i AM screwed.

i am so upset. every time i think about it i get an awful sinking guilty feeling. why did i do such a STUPID STUPID thing.


anyway. i had a dream. i dreamt that i wanted to go skiing (which i REALLY do). so my mum, my sis and i went to whistler. i was so incredibly happy. but when we got there, the snow was yucky and icy and everything, and the rocks were showing through in patches. there were orange out-of-bounds markers EVERYWHERE. and all the good snow / untracked snow / powder was out of bounds.

anyway, somewhere during my dream we came across this bunch of people doing a film. in the middle of the mountain. uhh.. yeah. and my mum decided to see if they would take my sis as an extra. it was a japanese film. and for some reason my sister was wearing a japanese-looking sorta kimono thing. so they said okay. so my mum and my sis stayed there and i went off.

there was this ski lift. it was a toilet. as in.. the toilet seat. and you sat on it and it brought you all the way up the mountain. (haha) and it passed by lots of different little shops on the way up. very disneyland-like. and i noticed one that sold tea, as in, very fragrant tea leaves, flower tea, that sort of thing. i made a note and carried on. nearer the top, there weren't shops any more but there were theme park rides. i remember one flume ride, it was a dragon, and the fast bit was where you went down the head. i'd dreamt about that ride before!! haha. and the part where you get off the lift (toilet..) was after you go through this other theme park thing.. it was basically just a building like the midstation or something.. but the floor was covered in HUGE BLACK spiders. and that really freaked me out.

anyway i got off and skiied down to the shops. it wasn't fun. there were lots of people, and the snow was really awful. when i got to the shop, i bought a packet or two of nice smelling tea. later when i gave it to my sis she didn't really want to drink it (she doesn't really like tea) but she smelled it and she liked it.

it was a weird dream.

i just wanted to put it down.



i am so SCREWED.

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