January 24, 2002 Thursday - 23:16

exhausted... all the time.. exhausted.. tired.. drag.. exhausted.. e x h a u s t e d . . . .


i miss you.


so tired...

the problem with most people trying to lose weight is that they can't bear to give up food. 'just this piece of cake'. that's human, i guess. greed. i mean, in school i fantasise about all the fabulous buffets and stuff i could go to on weekends.. 'just this week. just this once.' but come saturday, i will be curled up in bed trying to not think about the porridge sitting on the table downstairs.

that's the problem with people. they can't give up what they should.


i miss you my friend. is something happening to me? i think we fit each other. sometimes. sometimes. is sometimes, enough?

but it doesn't matter, does it..

you cheer me up. you make me smile. you make me a better person to be with.

i really miss you.

at least we have our friendship. tenuous as it seems at times. at least we have that. iie, at least *i* have that.

and if i have it no longer.. at least i once did. and i treasure that, as much as i treasured everything he did for me. you mean very much to me, do you know? do i mean as much to you? i just wish...

you seem to promise.. promise something. please let what i sense be real, and not just a wisp of what could have been, as it always is.

i want to be your friend.


i'm so exhausted.. but i'm getting thinner..

and that's all that matters to me now.

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