atrophy of the mind

January 29, 2002 Tuesday - 21:41

Anorexia is...

dark, seductive, haunting. images of gaunt hollow-eyed waifs.

a message. that nobody can hurt you more than you can hurt yourself.

control. of food. of impulse. of need. of life. of death.

perfection, purity, abstinence.

a challenge. for someone to be as perfect as you are.

pride. an identity. a belonging. a comfort.

floating on a cloud.

suffering with strength.

sacrifice. selflessness. because you are giving up what you are so someone else can become more than what she is.

a love affair.

delirium. wanting nothing but food, dreaming of feasts, but not eating.

strength in weakness.

having something nobody else has.

being something nobody else is.

feeling the changes in your body.

dying of hunger.

hunger. so hungry it isn't hunger any more.

pushing yourself to your limits.

going. keep going. keep running. keep running. sweat fuelled by air.

collapsing of exhaustion.

no strength to breathe.

dryness. emptiness. hollowness. tiredness. spent. weakness. headaches. feverish. desperation. depression. hopelessness. isolation.

you cannot hurt me. more than i can hurt myself.

you cannot hurt me.

you cannot hurt me.

you can never hurt me.

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