real and boring

July 21, 2005 thursday - 22:30

i can feel my heart breaking, in a way that is not like crystal shattering or gold melting, but in a way that is like bark flaking off a tree trunk, slowly, unnoticeably, covered with moss and damp, falling unseen to the ground.

in the morning it feels different - it seems wrong, unnatural, to wake up as usual, to go to work as usual, to research and proofread and draft, to fill my mind with statutes and cases. how can the mind survive when the heart is dead?

and there is no more solace than this, a tired, half-hearted, pretentious blog entry.


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