April 17, 2012 tuesday - 23:06

i am getting used to this feeling again. constantly being hungry. the little sense of achievement every time i restrict, every time i skip a meal, every time i go to the gym.

i don't recognise what i see in the mirror. and yet it has been so easy to get used to this flat stomach, these slim thighs - now they don't seem flat enough or slim enough. strange that the changes have been so drastic, yet not drastic enough.

it feels good, to know that i am back in control. that i don't want to eat, and i'm not tempted. if i'm not tempted, i will not fail, and if i don't fail, then i won't feel guilty.

at the very least, this is something i can do right. and i don't want to let it go.

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