double dutch

November 05, 2004 friday - 09:46

where is everything gone?

i walk and i look for a crevice, i want to fall, but the ground is hard and full and there are no cracks, nothing beneath which i can disappear..
i cannot sleep.. i cannot rest... i cannot get drunk... i am so tired
i want to rest
but i can't find it..

i want my perfect man
someone who is beautiful and painful
cruel, when cruelty is called for, and kind, when kindness is not deserved
heartstoppingly arrogant and honestly humble
viciously proud and innocently pure
talented and perceptive
silent when discretion is required, loud and hilarious when attention is necessary
flippantly brilliant and subtly snide
charming and sexy and chillingly aloof

i am tired..
why is tiredness so painful?

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