i lie to everyone

November 12, 2006 sunday - 00:04

how much of this life is a farce.
i pretend i care about you and your whingeing.
i pretend i care about your gfbf problems.
i pretend i want to sleep with you.
i pretend i care that you are unhappy.
i pretend that i don't care.
pretend pretend pretend.
all for my friends. turn on a tap, and the pretense comes gushing out.

but what is real?

this time i turn around and face the mirror. nothing in between me and my reflection. this time it's me vs me. i alone decide. i alone do what i have to.

the anger will be my saviour. it will be the insulation that guards me from the cold. it will numb my heart and turn it hard against the world. it will make me invincible.

invincible. that's what i am.

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