May 20, 2012 sunday - 22:33
i know i'm happier this way. i'm free to do as i wish, to live my life the way i want to, to spend my time as i please. to take up the entire bed.
but i see you, and her, and you look so happy - and proud. and suddenly i feel so alone.
that could have been me, couldn't it?
i miss the closeness, the togetherness, the ability to stand so near to a boy in a photograph. after the last relationship, i wanted the next to be perfect. i wanted to be proud too. but it never materialised. and now i tell myself i'm happier this way.
but i look at the photo of you and her together and, somehow, i feel lonely again.