s'il tu plait

June 12, 2004 saturday - 23:27

i wait for a call that will never come
i gasp in the night
i swallow the pills that make me sleep, so that i don't have to think of you
but these faces haunt my dreams
don't you see?

i sneeze and i cough, i blow my nose
as if i was crying
i am ill

i imagine i see your face again
your hair
your fingers

God calls me to turn around
i lift my hands
He will not tempt me more than i can bear
i cry to Him the empty air
what is become of me

i called a farce a thing that was real
i am blind
it is i that is the farce

these wounds that bleed so painfully
i wonder that nobody sees them
can't you tell?

i am hanging in the balance
twisting in the space that lies between
all or nothing
black or white
truth or lie

rake your fingers over my skin
plunge your teeth into my heart
take my shame
take my body
take my trembling fear
but leave my soul alone

call me, call me, call me
you know where to find me
i fear that call
but i fear not receiving it even more
i want

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