the world i know

January 19, 2004 tuesday - 23:49

when was the last time i said something new?
when was the last time i meant something?
when was the last time i did something good?
when was the last time i felt something real?

and so i pass as if my life were nothing really, nothing at all, and this is the way it should be. little things, little me. little sins and little virtues. in my little world. in my little head. i am nobody.

there is no bitterness. there is only knowledge and the acceptance of it.

i walk and the pavement is my best friend, it knows me and i know it, i face it and i bare my heart to it. these days, this is what is most familiar to me.

and then sleep, the want of sleep, the want for sleep, the need to sleep, the lack of sleep, the love of sleep. sleep consumed, sleep destroyed; subsumed into the seas, overwhelmed by the oceans. nobody is listening to hear it slip beneath the waves, uncomplaining, unprotesting. and then there is only the white foam, turning now into paper, into notes, into books, into responsibilities.

and there is no bitterness.

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