blah de blah de blah
November 27, 2002 Wednesday - 20:55
yeah.. and.. well.. maybe nobody cares any more. maybe nobody ever really did. maybe everyone forgets and i have been forgotten. if you are standing with your heels hanging off the edge of a cliff you will fall if you lean too far backwards.
so what do you want from me now? i don't want to keep doing things for you.. you keep asking.. and i will help you. and then you will forget. who am i to you anyway. just leave me alone.
and it is so awful seeing everyone's blogs going "NO MORE A LEVELS" and "NO MORE SCHOOL" and "I AM FREE" and things like that.. when i am not. after my last paper next week i will still have many many things to do that i do not want to do.
today in school i saw lots of secondary school people and lots of 'PAE registration here' signs. and i felt really superior. ha. ha. ha. suckers. they're begging to get into this place i am dying (literally maybe) to get out of. and i went to check the MOE website to see what sort of PAE thing was going on. and the pages looked real familiar. except the bit where it says "if your IC number is S8600000 to S8655555 check here" or something. i thought, wow. it should have been 84. but i am two years too ancient.
and now there's this jc curriculum debate thingy. what i think is, just leave it.
the problems the MPs and things keep talking about are there of course. these last 12 years have almost killed me and loads of other bright young "future leaders of the nation"-types. but i'm not dead yet. and *most* people aren't. no matter how screwed i am, and how screwed Jill or Jane or John or Jack are, there are others who aren't screwed. Mary and Mandy and Mark and, um, Dex.
some people go into the system and come out dying. intestines falling out and massive head trauma. but some come out shiny, maybe a little scratched, but on the whole, enthusiastic and hopeful.
for the sake of these people, don't change it. what you (who are not in school and do not have to do what you implement) think is good for us isn't.
i think, if you (who are not in school and do not know what school was like for us) actually bothered to *listen* to the people who want to speak, it will work out.
but first you gotta close your mouths and open your ears. what's happening now is cos you've got it the wrong way around. yak yak yak. and the only thing you hear is the sound of your own voice.
go read tim burton's "The Death of Melancholy Oyster Boy and other stories". some of it is funny and i wanted to laugh. some of it is sad and i wanted to cry. and some of it, is just plain weird.
and oh yeah, that reminds me. if you are also in RJC, or have the opportunity to go there, check out the female toilet on the third floor next to 3-1. you know the stupid love poem in the last cubicle, it kind of sucks. but it is so funny. i feel like taking a red marker and circling all the mistakes. maybe if i am bored studying (shuddup all those who are done with the A's) i will go copy it down and put it in here for everyone to laugh at.
but you have to admit, that girl sure has got some nerve.
one last thing. u shld not type lk dis. cos no1 can read. ok?
"Words writ in the sand
promised Jesus would save.
But his memory was lost with one high-tide wave."