three wish centre
September 19, 2003 friday - 19:54
you love me love i cannot understand.
you love me love i cannot deserve.
you love me love i cannot return.
don't love me please.
remember the past. lives ended long before yours began. remember the cold. remember the wooden floors and the dark corners hiding at the edges of memory. hear the echoes of sounds long past, footsteps of feet long turned to dust. feel the sadness in the air, the hope, the despair. in the wind are smells of dinners long eaten, perfumes long spent, clothes long discarded.
can you sense it? the detritus of lives lived here. residues remain; in the stillness there is movement in time. ghosts of desire, of yearning and trying and searching, speak whispers in the unmoving air. imagine the faces that looked through these windows. imagine the people.
now gone, not gone. hauntingly, a refrain that does not die off, traces hold on through the years. lives built upon lives built upon lives built upon lives. lived in. burnt out.
without your love i feel worthless.
without your love.
quiet and pure and silent. sadness, unbound by grand overarching designs. simply sadness. emptiness. purity. no music. no stories. no histories. no hot days and no cold nights. no upturned faces. no forgotten light. no cliche and no poetry. no wine and no abandon. no eulogising to friends. no psychology and no analysing.
where are you my friends all you whom i love? where are you now that i am disappearing? where are you whose strands reach so far across the globe into the ends of the earth and beyond? where are you?
you are not here for me.