March 25, 2007 sunday - 18:53

there is nothing i can say that wouldn't make me a hypocrite.

betrayal. cowardice. lust. lying. pride. there is none of these that i am not guilty of.

i wish it didn't happen. i wish i had the guts to face up to it earlier. i wish i had not been such an immature, irresponsible asshole.

i was drunk. on alcohol, on power. i didn't think.

if there is anything, i deserve it. i deserve your hatred. i deserve the rumours, the malice, the gossip. i deserve to be hung, drawn and quartered.

i hate myself, and i deserve your hatred too.

but i did it because i love you.

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