i've been pretty heartless about the whole wtc thing so far. i think i would forgive. but it was not my country that was attacked and it was not my family who died. so i don't think i have a right to say anything. despite how ludicrous the whole thing seems to me.
but today i saw a video of one of the people jumping out of the towers.
Falling. tumbling. limp like a rag doll. I am falling.
my body, it will fall across a million televisions to a backdrop grey and forbidding my body, it will become a symbol. more in death than I ever was in life.
people will cry for me people will rage for me people will feel for me
but nobody will understand me all I feel is terror all I feel is pain trapped up there no escape no relief do I sit and wait for death to claim me?
people will see me and cry but I donít want to know donít tell me why
donít tell me how you will make those who did this pay or avenge all the lives that were lost this day donít tell me how Iíve made my country strong.
I donít want to know all that.
I donít want for people to see me and cry I donít want to know donít tell me why.
all is want is for flowers to grow over my grave. for someone to remember this life I gave and for Mother to know that I love her.
I am spinning beyond control away from the sky but into heaven
No more riding the subway underground I belong now to the sky. no more buying salad cream at the grocery store all that is left is destruction
Strange, I think how the meaning of my life is negated and augmented by this my death. Strange, I think how I now seemed to have existed solely to die.
but it doesnít matter now.
the wind is strangely silent as I fall through it muffled by the blankness of my brain. canít think anymore