July 08, 2010 thursday - 01:00
i wish i were in the first year of law school again. waiting with him at the bus stop near the old hall after lunch, in that lacy pink shirt i stole from e after coming back from australia. thinking about the case summary we had to do for legal writing the next day.
i was unsure - unsure if this was what i wanted, if this was the guy i wanted, if i would be settling.
now, i think maybe i should have settled. we could have grown together. learned together. perhaps i could have grown to love him. perhaps we would be married by now. perhaps he could have made me happy. life would have been easier. more boring. simpler. safer.
now that i look back at myself, at that bus stop, i think would have held his hand.