closed like confessionals

July 25, 2003 friday - 17:33

there are those survey things that predict the date and manner in which people die. according to, i will die in july 2059, most probably of cancer. you can see it here.

i wonder, did she ever take one of those tests? did it tell her, july 2003? 100% chance of suicide? because that was when and how she died.

tests like that trivialise death. sayings like "live each day as if it were your last". so many jokes, cartoons, shows... they all make death out to be a laugh, pretending it isn't a big deal.. and we forget. but death, it is a big deal. the biggest deal of life.

why did she have to die?

and what do we, who survive, do? is her death to be just a momentary sharp horror, to be mourned and the pain then dulled by time, and the continuance of life? for she is dead, but life goes on. we cannot forget that death walks with us.. it should not take us by surprise. and what happens after. who is prepared for the afterlife?

see philip larkin, ambulances.

three weeks, three deaths. who will be next?

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