August 01, 2014 Friday - 23:06
i don't understand what it is to love someone quietly, without pain, drama or anguish, but in comfort and peace.
words have power; say it and it becomes real.
this sort of falling in love is not a falling, but a gentle slipping beneath the sheets and curling up in bed. it is warm, comforting and reliable. there are no fireworks. no drama. no mind games. no hidden glances. no secrets. no power play. just a place to rest, and be held, and just be.
but i'm not allowed to love you, and you're not allowed to love me. there is no us. there is nothing, just you, and me, and our little corner of the world where nobody else comes.
it is fondness, and kindness, and care, and mutual support and stability. it is not what i know so far of love, which has always been full of dark secret longing, unspoken misery, sacrifice, and loss. is this the way it should be?
i thought i didn't understand love, but maybe i've just discovered what love is really like.
and it's too late.