December 04, 2010 saturday - 23:51
i hate it everytime we meet. i hate the chemistry, the understated flirting, the hints of possibility, the unspoken attraction. i hate the texts that come afterwards, the promises that never come to pass, the reluctance to leave, but inability to come back together again.
it's so frustrating. how many years has it been, that i have been secretly in love with you? we used to be close. so close that we could talk for hours. so close sitting next to each other in our early morning classes with the curry puff breaks.
and now, i can't do it any more. i'm too tired to make the effort, to strain to find the common ground between us that grows less every time we meet. i don't want to try any more.
every few months we meet, and a little hope flutters to life again in my heart. but what's the point? i wish i still had it in me to try.